It's time to talk about money | 30-Day Challenge: Daily Practice [Day 19]

Today I’m feeling disappointed. I’m feeling like everything just takes too long to happen, and like I just can’t get it right.There’s a little voice that pops into my head and says stuff like:“You’re just not cool enough to make it."“You’re NEVER going to make it."“Maybe you should give up and just go do something else."I am feeling like even my best efforts just aren’t good enough. I’ll never win. I’ll never get that big breakthrough that makes it all right. I wonder if maybe something’s wrong with me or if I am delusional in believing that I can create something from nothing and that it can be my livelihood, my connection to my kindred spirits, my link to being in relationship with the most inspiring people in the world.Fortunately, I’ve had this feeling enough times to be able to immediately recognize it and interact with it, before it drowns me in its depressing ways. I ask myself what it is I was expecting to happen that hasn’t happened. At the root of my disappointment today is an unmet expectation that I’d be recognized by certain people who I admire, and that they'd help me on my journey.I dig deeper and ask myself more questions. I want to uncover what expectations and beliefs are driving this disappointment. I realize that somewhere inside me, I am believing that I’ll be cool, I’ll be successful, I’ll have my answers, if only these people would see me and recognize me for what I’m creating. I believe that, without their approval and support, I’ll never make it.As soon as I realize this I laugh. Do I believe this is true? Absolutely not. In this moment I see that I am putting these people in a more powerful place than source/god/goddess/the universe. I am believing that if my expectations of how it “should” happen or how I think I want it to happen aren’t met, then it’s all a failure. It’s all a loss. There is no other way. I was putting my tiny, limited perspective of what “should” happen above the vast, limitless perspective of my higher self who is orchestrating the unfolding of my dream vision that is becoming my reality.It is then that I remind myself to tune into the feeling of what it is I am creating. What is the embodiment of the emotional vibrations held within my dream vision? I allowed myself to have that experience of my dream vision right then and there. To be that which I am desiring. To have it now.And I feel relief. I feel possibility. I feel that ever-present connection to my higher self and my true creative powers.

The same thing is happening all the time with money: you put the power of money above the creative power of the universe.

I’ll give you an example. Say you desire to live in a gorgeous home or have a nice pair of shoes or go on a vacation or anything that costs money. But before you even let yourself dream about it, you tell yourself you could never afford it. Or you quickly calculate what you think you would have to do to afford it and realize you’re not willing or able to do that. And you let go of that dream. You put out the spark of inspiration and desire that is leading you on your creative life journey.Right there, in that moment, you put money above source/god/goddess/the universe. You said that money is source and that you don’t have enough of that money to make it happen, so it’s just not possible. Do you really believe money is source? That money is god or goddess? Do you really believe that money is more powerful than the creative force that formed the universe? Money represents power. It represents flow and source. But it is not source. Just because you don’t have the money or you can’t imagine how it’d ever be possible for you to have enough money to be, do or have something, it doesn’t mean that it’s not possible. It just means that you are putting money above source. You are putting money above your own creative power and connection to the infinite creator of everything that is.So what I propose to you is to start noticing when you shut yourself down because you think you can’t afford something. It happens alllllll the time. You’ll start to hear your friends say it, your family saying it, the media saying it. You’ll see how entranced people are in this mindset. I even say it sometimes, but I’m quick to notice and then to laugh it off.To remedy and transmute this belief, what you do is dream your dream vision of having/being/doing that thing anyways, no matter what it costs. It’s free to dream! Start dreaming it! I’m not saying to go out and spend all your money or spend money you don’t have to prove that money isn’t source. What I’m saying is give yourself the gift of creating a dream vision about how it feels to have that thing that you desire. Allow yourself to have a taste of it here and now. And if you like it, nurture it like any dream vision. Regularly tune in and focus on how it feels to have that in your life. Use the manifesting process to dream vision it, clear your blocks, let go of expectations and celebrate when your desire shows up.Already this year I’ve been traveling and on vacation for at least 55 days. That’s over 7 weeks. I’ve been to New Orleans, Mexico, California and to a relaxing week on the beach in Delaware. And the best part is, I only spent a few hundred dollars because most of my travel and boarding was paid for or free! This is not my “normal" life. I have never had this experience before, but I wrote in December, in my dream vision for the year, that I’d be traveling and going on real vacations both alone and with my husband. I let myself dream and feel how awesome it felt to travel. I let myself dream up and also research places to go and plans of what to do. I had fun with it. I didn't set any plans in stone in my dreaming, I just played. And I cleared my blocks along the way.I could NEVER have planned how it all worked out, but it turned out more amazing than I imagined. In December, when I dreamed this up, we didn’t have the budget to go traveling for 7 weeks. I didn’t even specify 7 weeks. The point is, I knew I wanted to travel to certain types of places and meet certain types of people, so I let myself dream it, and it happened. I let it happen and I didn’t force it to be one way or the other. I kept with the dream, I kept with the delight and feeling of what I believed it’d feel like to have that kind of luxury to travel, and when opportunities showed up that felt like my dream vision feelings, I said a big, excited YES! And in my travels I learned sooooooo much about what I like and don’t like when I travel. Now my dream visions will be even more perfectly tailored to bring me delight in my future travels. And this all happened before the year was even halfway over.I could tell you all kinds of stories about crazy stuff I’ve manifested because I was willing to get past the money part and get into the feeling of already having it, but I really want to clarify here that holding onto the expectation of receiving an exact thing will only let you down. What you do is use that specific thing that you desire to get you into the feeling of having it, and then let go of the expectation that it has to be that exact thing. When you get into that juicy feeling of having it, then whatever comes to you from that dream visioning will bring you that feeling, and maybe it’ll be even better than that feeling and better than you imagined. It’s the feeling you’re after anyways. So who cares if you receive that feeling as your reality, and it doesn’t look like you thought it’d look? It’s still freaking awesome, right?And back to where I started with that disappointment I was feeling. That disappointment can creep in when you start doubting the process and when your expectations aren’t met. If you’re feeling that disappointment, ask yourself about what expectations haven’t been met. And then ask yourself if you really think it’s true that the way you expected it to happen is the only way your dream vision could manifest. When you can realize that your higher self has a much more expansive perspective and is busy orchestrating amazing things, you can let go of that expectation and then tune in to the feeling of what you are creating. Then you can take imperfect action and trust what shows up.That feeling can be manifested in a myriad of ways. Ways which might be even more amazing and more of a perfect fit than anything you had ever imagined. This is a common experience in manifesting. You are too busy expecting it to look one way or happen a certain way to notice that something even more amazing is unfolding right before your very eyes. It’s that feeling you’re after, so once you create your dream vision around that feeling, let go of your attachment and need for the manifestation to look or happen a certain way. Get out of your own way and be grateful for this beautiful manifestation and experience that has shown up for you.You may have heard the phrase, “It’s darkest before the dawn.” This is what’s happening here. It feels so dark. What you expected to show up isn’t showing up. But when you recognize what I’m talking about here, and you’re willing to surrender to your higher self, trust your manifesting process, trust the universe/god/goddess/source, and let go of your attachments to how it ought to look, then the dawn can come. Instead of giving up and throwing in the towel, give up your expectations, throw in the towel on your attachments. Surrender and enjoy the ride.So to recap today’s lesson:

1. Pay attention to how you're feeling. When you feel disappointed, ask yourself what expectations you were having that haven’t been met. Do you really believe that’s the only way your dream vision can unfold?
2. Start noticing when you shut yourself down because of money beliefs. Instead, allow yourself to dream vision about how it would feel to have that thing. It’s free to dream, right? When you do this, you open up the possibilities of how that can come into your reality.
3. Remember, with all of this, that it’s the feeling you’re after in every single one of your desires. If you’re stuck on a thing and not a feeling, remind yourself that whatever is unfolding for you in this manifestation is totally aligned with that feeling and is probably even better than any thing you imagined you wanted. So let go of that attachment and expectation, and let the universe surprise and delight you. It’s going to be better than you expected.
4. And a bonus: just like with putting money as more powerful than the creative power of the universe, ask yourself what else you’re doing this with. Are you putting your boss, your parents, your spouse or someone else above source? What or who are you letting limit your dream visioning?

Ok, as always, I welcome your feedback. I love hearing about your epiphanies and I really love helping you through wherever you’re struggling or stuck, so talk to me!XoxoNataliePS - I wrote this in the morning. My day turned into a treasure-filled, beautiful day. It is so possible to totally shift your entire day, if you are willing!Image by me, shot on vacation in Big Sur!