Keeping Your Edge and Staying Connected with Your Inner and Outer Wilderness

Happy Solstice! I’m celebrating by committing to camping in my own backyard to stay more connected to my inner and outer wilderness.Ariel @FeralGreenwood mentioned something during my visit with her last week in Sonoma County, CA, that has been floating around my mind. How do you keep your edge? Seriously, tell me!My idea of keeping an edge is staying sharp, quick and engaged with life. I keep my edge by expanding into new places, relationships, and activities that make me feel a wee bit nervous or that help me maintain extremely high integrity around what I value in life, no matter the cost or what I have to say no to.In the past two and a half weeks I’ve been camping in Big Sur, a place that felt more like home than anywhere else, spent 5 luscious days in the redwoods of northern CA with 500 soul sisters from around the world at @SpiritWeavers, and camped in the wild hills of a grassland preserve where @FeralGreenwood works as a grazer fostering the health of the land, animals and people. After spending so much time outdoors in the perfect weather of central and northern CA, it was hard to come back to NC, where the oppressive heat and humidity make staying inside preferable to melting in the midday sun. I am an outdoors kind of creature, and after two weeks of beautiful freedom living the outdoor dream, I can no longer trick myself into thinking I’m happy with anything other than a lifestyle that lets me nurture my inner and outer wilderness connections.I don’t have anything in particular against living inside. I definitely enjoy all the modern amenities that come with my suburban home. It’s more that I feel ALIVE and INSPIRED when I spend a significant part of my life outdoors. It just feels right. Even in the melting sun of NC summers, I’ve always made an effort to get outdoors as much as possible in the mornings and evenings, and much of my graduate research was spent outdoors.Now, a few nights into my return home, I can’t take sleeping inside anymore! I’ve done a preliminary backyard clean up (the garden was a JUNGLE when I got home), set up my tent in the garden and am ready to spend as many evenings as possible living alongside my beloved plants. This is something new for me. I’ve always intended to set up my tent in my garden, but I never felt compelled to actually DO IT. Now, after weeks of living outdoors, I am no longer satisfied with spending so much time indoors. I have been waking up feeling dull and slow. Those feelings, dear readers, are a sure sign you’re losing your edge. Note: just because you wake up feeling like that, it doesn’t mean you have to stay that way all day! I’ll address this topic in another post, beloved readers.My yearning to walk hand-in-hand with my inner wilderness has me committing to spending as many nights as I can outdoors, whether it’s in my backyard garden or camping in the wild woods. I am stating this commitment publicly here, so I may be accountable to someone other than my own fickle heart. I will spend some nights indoors, especially in the hottest part of at the summer, but I will maintain my outdoor connection as much as possible. I can imagine even traveling 15 minutes to the closest semblance of a wild place to camp on the odd weeknight just because. Who knows, maybe I’ll realize all I want is my tent, my camera gear, a laptop, a mode of transportation, and whatever is necessary to cook and eat. Then we (me and my husband, @itsmilesdavis) could sell our house and be free to wander in our own flow of life. I know not where this one step of sleeping outside will take me, but the power in honoring that which feeds me wild INSPIRATION and BEAUTY will surely change the trajectory of all my future choices towards that which is truly fulfilling, and I honor myself for that.

Now, tell me, what does it mean to you to keep your edge?

What do you do OR what do you know deep in your heart that you NEED to do (that you may not be doing now) to keep your edge? Can you commit to making one choice that aligns you ever more deeply with your own sense of integrity and passion for life? Do you feel called to sleep outside, if even only in your own backyard? Tell me!!!Xoxoxoxo NatPS - my neighbors are SO FREAKING LOUD, so I’m expecting that earplugs will be my best friends on this journey. Do you have other ideas for dealing with the noise?! I know, I know… I ought to just move out to the countryside…PPS - the cats were like WHHAAAAAAT the heck is that tent thingy?!

Update: First Night in the Garden Tent

The night was bright with the full moon, so we wore eye masks. I slept wonderfully and had a couple of vibrant dreams. One of which was directly related to the fae and mermaids, but I do not remember the gist of it. I intend to get better at remembering and writing down my mystical dreams.

John slept out there with me, and Machi (our dog) slept on a pillow outside of the tent. He seemed to enjoy the adventure.

The one thing I didn’t anticipate was waking up at 5:30 am. A combination of first light, a slightly troubled tummy, and the incredible symphony of bird chirps got me up with no hope of going back to sleep. I wanted to sit and journal in the tent, but John was adamant about getting two more hours of sleep. I decided to come inside, make tea, and start my day. We’ll have to work out a system, so I can enjoy waking in the tent and journaling in the sounds of morning birdsong before doing some early morning gardening.